short story: ugly faerie

when I saw a globe in the laboratory,
I saw my self sitting alone on the top.
at evening when I was walking home,
I was wondering what she might be doing
was she walking around the globe, hunting a bacteria,
was she trying to spin the globe for fun

night came and my thought of her got stronger
the lab must have been dark,
as dark as my room after imaginary good night kisses
from imaginary parents

one day I found this boy who was crying
he was separated from his mother
he didn't know what to do. I walked him to the information center
it didn't take a long time for the boy to be in his mother's hug
I imagined that girl who sat behind the microphone could get me my mother
but I didn't even know her name
I just knew that girl on the globe in the laboratory

now everyone has died.
there were just me,that boy, and his mother in this world
from him I learned to get a help
he taught me how to hug, showed me what it feels to be hugged

then I am now a very different person
I say "I need you" from time to time
I hug him from time to time

but I feel the same
the warmth of hug doesn't change anything
then I found out I said I needed him just because

the girl on the globe didn't  know how it feels to be weak
the girl on the globe knew nothing about surrender
but she tells me

I want to feel what people call 'security'